Bipolar Mockingbird

if i took one picture of myself
for the rest of my life
COULD YOU SEE ME CHANGE?
i split right down the middle
into the two the people you have made me
I AM NEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME
you’ve made me completely insane
my curly locks straightened by my constant  strain
BIPOLAR (BIPOLAR) BIPOLAR
i hear them whispering at me
THEY’RE WISPERING ABOUT ME
i’m awake and its three AM
the clock seems to glare at me
SHE’S LAUGHING AT ME
and as the morning mocking bird sings i can’t seem to contemplate
what i have become
i no longer smile when i see that mockingbird
she’s so happy
SHE’S MOCKING ME//THAT MOCKINGBIRD
she’s dancing on my window sill
making me sick
i’m going to kill that bird
i’m jealous
she can just fly away
from the pain
from the hurt
FORGIVE AND FORGET?
easier said than done
as i reach for the morning its silently killing me
because getting up means waking up
“ONE LAST ONE I PROMISE”
one last drink
one last hit
i cringe underneath the sunlight
my eyes flicker away the specks of sleep
i reach for my mockingbird
i stroke her feathers
I AM THE MOCKINGBIRD SITTING ON YOUR WINDOW SILL
let me fly
from the agony
let me forget
i am the mockingbird
so let me escape this

i light my cigarette
and try to forget